October 10, 2017
22 years ago right now I was getting ready for brain surgery. How do you do that? Well, first they give you a little pill so you are not quite as nervous as you were when you walked through the hospital doors. Then you go to your room and wait. After a while someone comes in and cuts your very long hair off, and it hurts because she's pulling it hard and doesn't seem to care that it's a very traumatic thing for you to go through.
And then you're bald.
I remember sitting on the edge of my bed and just staring at the floor.
A few days before I was sitting on that bed, I had been holding our coat rack at home, and crying. "I just need a word from You, God. I'm scared. I don't want to leave my little boy and my husband."
Feeling desperate, alone.
In my head, ringing clear like a bell, "Read Psalm 118."
Ok. I gotta do it. Maybe I did hear Him....
It's a lovely psalm. But when I read verse 17, I knew it was for me, and I knew He had spoken to me.
"I shall not die, but declare the works of the Lord."
It was just what I needed, and He gave it to me a few days before I sat on that bed, waiting for my head to be cut in to.
Long story short- I should be dead. I ended up with a pulmonary embolism. A lot of people die from that.
I've told this lots of times-I'm sure people get sick of hearing it. But when it happens to you, it's kind of a big deal. Especially hearing from God.
So-you're alive and other people aren't. Why you?
You know, I don't think I've asked God that question.
I've just been glad to see my son grow up and get married and be happy. I've loved my husband all these years that were 'extras.'
And I know that I know that I know-God's Word is true, alive and He keeps it.
I don't try to explain Him, because I can't. What good would He be if I could?
And just think, you got to meet me and read my ramblings, my heartfelt words. You've loved my photos I think, and some of my art.
And I got the chance to love you.
Thank You, God....